Think up your own caption...

... because I'm feelin' lazy today. Try and think of something that rhymes with cog. Shouldn't be too hard, unless you have a thick head bone

COMMUTER BIKE OF THE WEEK...

Belongs to Jose, of inside sales (maybe you've exchanged chili recipes with him on the phone while ordering a bottle of Cytomax or a few dozen SRAM red groups. If you need a good chili recipe, don't use this one). Jose rides a Gary Fisher "Ferrous". From what my brain tells me, ferrous means "having something to do with iron". So it can be logically deduced that Jose's bike is made of iron (the frame weighs 47 pounds). Oh the irony! Wasn't that funny? No? Well, let it also be known that Iron's atomic number is 26, which is the inverse of Jose's age. But let it also be known that not only is Iron's atomic number 26, but there are 26 bones in an adult, human body. They are, in order of importance and scientific veracity:
Head Bone (non-medical types call this the skull)
Heart Bone
Butt Bone
Funny Bone
Lip Bone (your smacker, one of a pair)
Neck Bone (sometimes longer in giraffes)
Head Bone Jr.
Shoulder Bone
Arm Bone
Hand Bone (known as the hand, or pick-upper-thing)
Finger Bone(s)
Heart Attack Bone (where heart attacks come from)
Ham Bone (what we play during the summer when we're feeling blue)
And 13 other bones that are very important but shan't be discussed at this time. In conclusion, Jose is 62, has 26 bones and has had romantic congress with a unicorn. It's science people, look it up!

Jiminy Crickets!

Supa-Flash Stealth

What do you get when you take a Planet Bike Superflash and cross it with a little stealth bomber technology. Ooo, Ooo, I know, a black back plate and clear lens! No grasshopper, not only do you get a black back plate and clear lens, but you get the new title of Superflash Stealth. If that doesn't make you faster, then I sugggest you strap a Maglight to your handlebars, a John Deere liscense plate under your saddle, and get you one of those nice fluffy furry seat covers, I hear they're real nice.

Statistics Show Teenage Delinquency is on the Rise...

So, we're all standing around chatting with Pete and Eric from Cane Creek about creeks, various types of canes and the inevitable combining of the two throughout history when suddenly, without warning, Kyle runs in wearing a ski mask, gorilla suit, Stryper concert shirt and latex gloves, wildly swinging his arms and uttering strange mono-syllabic noises. "What the dickens! Why I never!" exclaims a distraught Joshie as Kyle leaps astride Pete's bicycle and pedals his way through the office, down the hall and out to freedom, sweet horrible freedom! Shedding his outrageous disguise, the young ne'er-do-well joyrides in the parking lot for hours, shouting things like "Sic Semper Tyrannus!" and "Boba Fett for prez ya'll!!!" until animal control subdues him with a tranquilizer dart to the throat.

Dura-Ace Car-bone

"I have your crank set in my locker. You should probably come and get it. I can't fit my numchucks in there anymore."

Nah, for real though, this little non-available beauty showed up to our office today. At a scandalous 628g minus the bb, we can say that she's pretty good looking. This ain't your run-of-the-mill crapper ware boys, this is ain't even space age nylon polymer, this is 100% raw car-bone! Sucks that Napoleon can get his arms around one and you can't huh?

K-Bye

COMMUTER BIKE OF THE WEEK...

Belongs to Pete of Cane Creek (surely you remember the Pine Cone People's encounter with the Solos headset!). Not sure if he uses this for commuting or general cycling domination, but according to Pete, it was built as a "show bike" and "traveling" bike (hence the couplers) by Pacenti of Chattanooga. It has a fixed cog on one side and a White Brothers freewheel on the other. Now thats Italian! Meatball! "8 1/2"! And other Italian terms...

All the pretty colors...

...lining the walls of Ian's service center. "What?! You talkin' 'bout me plastic bins????"

COLLAGE!

ZIPP VS. TEKTRO!

Kinda like Playstation 3 versus Pick Up Sticks (or Kickball). Pretty sure (100%) Zipp ripped off Tektro's design. I mean, come on! It's obvious. Both brake lever sets retail for $10,000.00.... But you can have them... for a hug :) Love, Kyle (Graphics Department)

Cane Creek Solos and the Seemingly Good-Natured Pine Folk of Pelion

The Hawley Company loves Cane Creek and so do Pine Cone Folk. Pictured from left to right:
Ole Piney, Treebark McPine-Pine, Cane Creek Solos Threadless Headset and Leonard Jenkins.

Lew!

A wheelset forged by Lew-cifer himself! B'lee dat! LEW ROLLS, not Lou Rawls...

SADDLE OF THE WEEK

The Ivan Basso signature saddle, which never made it to production, can be yours for 1,000,000 dollars or a case of Capri-Sun...

COMMUTER BIKE OF THE WEEK...

Belongs to Jim Snyder of purchasing. In addition to being the resident "cycling nut", Jim is a graduate of Florida State University. Sadly, FSU has fallen on hard times in the last few days as a possible number of 25 players could be suspended for the Music City Bowl. Nevermind that the hapless 'Noles have lost 16 games in the last 3 seasons, it now looks like Bobby Bowden has lost complete control of his once proud (and successful) football team. Looking ahead, the Seminoles will most likely be thrashed by lowly Kentucky (a basketball school!) in the Music City Bowl, lose precious high school recruits to successful football programs like The University of Florida and The University of South Florida and then suffer through several more seasons of mediocrity in a conference that has failed to live up to its lofty expectations. Perhaps it's time for Bowden to retire, or perhaps it's time for FSU to give up football all together and take up other sports/geriatric leisure activities like lawn darts or competitive walking. By the way, Jim rides a Vicious and seems like a nice person....

Open Letter to CLIF BAR

Dear Clif Bar,
A couple weeks ago, Kyle McNamee let me sample one of your "Spiced Pumpkin Pie" Clif bars. I was skeptical, as befits my nature (my great-uncle Anton was part skeptic), but after some friendly and then not so friendly cajoling, I sank my teeth into the lumpy brown mass. At first, the flavor was repulsive, like an old leather glove that had been soaked in pond water, but after a few more bites and a few more boxes (consumed in a matter of minutes), the leather glove flavor morphed into a kind of sugary-sweet fruit mush akin to Mana of the Gods. As you and your "people" probably know, we here at The Hawley Company live off of sugary-sweet mush from the months of October to August. In September, we feast upon local striper bass and rhubarb salad (locals refer to it as "love lettuce" a tradition that goes back thousands of centuries, to when dinosaurs and Native Americans lived in peace and harmony with each other). That is why I was hoping you would listen to reason and continue your "seasonal" Spiced Pumpkin Pie throughout the entire year. Sadly, I have discovered in recent days, that when deprived of Spiced Pumpkin Pie Clif Bar, my body begins to age rapidly. I am only 30, but as of this writing, my hair has turned white, liver spots have appeared on my skin, my fingernails have grown three feet, and I have been diagnosed with osteoporosis. Although I will be nothing but a skeleton covered in cobwebs by Friday, I implore you to make Spiced Pumpkin Pie a permanent offering in your stable of delectable foodstuffs. You could always replace Carrot Cake. Nobody eats that poop.
Yours Truly,
Ken Klatte

COMMUTER BIKE OF THE WEEK...

Belongs to Tony Zanca (not to be confused with this knucklehead)) of inside sales. His Bianchi Cross Veloce will serve him well this winter as he readies both mind and body for the rigors of the 2008 NC Winter Cup cyclocross series. The pearl white saddle has added approximately 400 more watts of power to Tony's already devastatingly fast accelerations while the over-sized (comical?) saddle bag (as in duffel bag) makes hauling his daily brunch of scrambled eggs, Fifth Avenue bar, random blood transfusion and Yoo-Hoo a snap! Tony frowned (swore uncontrollably) upon my inclusion of his water bottle for the bike portrait, but it's important to remind the youngsters out there that hydration is vital to dominating your morning commute...

Croc-fee

Puppet Freak-Show

Joshie's new WTB mountain road bar showed up today. With no intention of using it for cycling, the bar's real intention is made evident after a few modifications courtesy of the graphics department...

White Brothers Fork...

Lord Jim gives it his "seal of approval", then break dances uncontrollably for the rest of the day, as befits all FSU grads....

Francisco, that's fun to say!