"Interesting Trades Considered"

Today's ride into work was fairly uneventful... except for a vehicle I espied whose radical if not absurd appearance was overshadowed by the fact that it was "for sale" and had "a few minor issues". Do you have "a few minor issues"? If so, maybe this is your dream ride? If I didn't ride into work, I might not have had my mind blown this morning! Ride to work people!

Too much camouflage trim? Pffft, never enough you tofu eating hippy!
Tail light kit? Check. Rims? Check. Uber-shady body work hiding God knows what? Booyah!
In your face license plate frame NOT included but can be if you can live up to its stirring message of hope, perseverance and the imminent arrival of "hell":

The ubiquitous duck hunting themed decal. Crimony, I loved Duck Hunt as a kid. At once aristocratic, yet urbane, it highhandedly revolutionized the 8 Bit Nintendo:

They say honesty is the best policy. If that's the case, then surely this is nonsensical jibberish not worth reading. Pray tell good sir, where is the deed to this steed? You had me at "AC not cold" (i.e. "broken"):