Paris Mountain Downhill Race and Dagwood Is Executed For War Crimes

Attention local shops who deal with inside sales-playboy Colin on a weekly basis: the man who never met a McDonald's menu item he didn't like is throwing his hat into the expert class ring at this weekend's Paris Mountain downhill race. His Kona is tuned, his helmet is freshly polished, Schwarzenegger impersonation is dialed in and his trousers are 80 percent excrement free! This looks like it's shaping up to be a gnartastic happening. Put down that hot pocket grandpa and go get your heckle on! Better yet, step up to the plate and sign up for what could be the race/epic never-ending crash of your life! Just look at the Brado-styled graphic! Just look at that sponsor list! Jeepers creepers!