As a Campy Lover, This Makes My Heart Hurt...

As a unicorn hater, this also makes my heart hurt...CLTH5417 for those of you following along. Very few in stock, they won't last, they depict something that displeases The Blog. This isn't rocket science people. Walk into your LBS, purposefully, and demand your unicorn socks. NOW!!!!

Rank Amateurs: CX-RATED!

Hendersonville Cross, CX3, CX4, blah blah blibbity blah blah! It's Thanksgiving Eve you scurrilous cretins! Shouldn't you be pretending to enjoy quality time with your inlaws OR STUFFING YOUR GAPING MAW WITH CANDIED TREATS!?!?!? Once again The Blog beseeches your forgiveness in regards to the hastiness of this post. There have been "strange occurrences" within the hallowed Hawley halls that require our undivided attention. Ever heard of "Cloverfield"? Well instead of NYC, shift locales to our breakroom and you might understand what I'm gettin' at!


Joshie on Saturday. You can tell cuz it's sunny and theres no mud. Lookin' good in those Craft knickers, pretty boy. I wouldn't mind - (edit)
This fella rode with his seatpost upside down for 45 minutes! Can you imagine that?

And now, we move on to Sunday....
Ole Bloggy and his baggy Craft Pro Warm billowing out from beneath his jersey. Does it get anymore amateur hour than this???Caught slippin'

This fellow stood perfectly still in this position for hours...
Challenge's FANGOS (TIRE84249 for those of you playing along in our online catalog) devour the mud!!!

Hendersonville UCI Cyclocross with Actual Pics Of Racing!

Sorry for the tardiness of these posts, but The Blog is knee-deep in something so foul at work, it cannot be spoken or written of. So let's distract ourselves with some full-color action from the Pro race... The WALL!

Jake Wells from Mafia Racing rounds a corner at speed. Let's hope he doesn't roll a tubular!
Oh no! A rolled tubular for Jake!Jake runs to the pits under the watchful gaze of a very handsome looking 'stache...Gangsigns...everywhere...in Hendersonvile!
Pro roadie from Fuji? Will gives him a lil cowbell action...

Hendersonville UCI Cyclocross and its MVP...

Thus fellow took it to the next level... MID-RACE!!!

Are You Swallowing Mud, Or Is It Cow Pie???

Just a reminder that a huge cross race is happenin' across the border in Hendersonville this weekend. Looks like rain, cold, mud, locust swarms, etc. FINALLY!

Anniversorry and HUDZ (The "Z" makes it urban and hip)

"Sooooo, I take it there isn't a pinata and this isn't Kevin McElroy's 8th birthday party? Crap."


When somebody puts a loaded crossbow to your head, it's best to not ask questions like, "What do you want?" or "Are you gonna shoot me or are you gonna keep flappin' them gums?" or "How did you get past my flaming bumblebee attack squadron and the tickletron 3000???". When somebody says jump, you ask "how high?". When lovely Karen from accounting asks Bloggo to do something, I wipe the sweat of beyond-jangled nerves from my ever-furrowing brow and get busy (in a method suited to Arsenio Hall-styled antics). Well, I forgot to post images of the world's second-best accounting department's (number one is and will always be the fine folks at Olson's Bass Boats, 67 years without an audit) anniversary gift to Steve Hawley last week so here they are, better late than never. A brief explanation. Steve loves Mountain Dew and Moonpies. He combines the two into a fine paste and uses said confection to re-caulk his bathroom, or as he refers to it, "the ole brown trout pond"...
In other exciting news, we got the new HUDz in stock about 7 minutes ago. They come in every color imaginable to match whatever tapez you're running. 9 out of 10 Baroness-loving wizards with vision problems prefer them to regular hoods...(Chris Maret, official Hawley wizard/long haul trucker/Flickerstick roadie)

Caught Slippin'

Pro-1-2 finish from Saturday.... for THIRD!

SC Cyclocross State Championships CX4s

Ole Bloggy was under the weather and had decided against racing this past weekend. Sadly, upon waking Saturday morning, the body and mind were not in accord and a cross race was entered against my body's wishes (curse you mind). Luckily, good friend Eric from Cane Creek toed the line with me, giving a much needed morale boost. I have never raced against Eric and decided that my only goal would be to lead Eric for the entire race, even if we finished in the very back. Eric would jump ahead of me early on after a sand trap bobble, but I would subsequently pass my teammate and hold him at bay, countering his tenacious attacks with whimsy and panache! Once again, I would like to reiterate the awesomeness of the Challenge Grifo tires. They do not give me free tires. I have no ties to that hapless, miserable company, but they're handmade and they stick like freaking crazy glue! By the way, Ole Bloggy now has a full-on chest cold so this weekend's race in Hendersonville should be what we call in the biz, a "character builder"...

Eric dominates me on the opening stretch, sprinting past as he shouts racist epithets...


The ubiquitous cross "caught in midair" remount picture...
Eric grinds through the sand trap, fueled by anger...
Pain face on a downhill. Lord, what a horrifyingly nasty layout...


Hawley stooges with cowbells and encouragement...
Gettin' the bead on 4th. "This one is dedicated to all ya'll kids out there!"
Post-race, Eric soaks it all in... sunshine that is, to combat the dreaded rickets...
I purchased this medal from a vendor. He assured me it was 100 percent real, but on the car ride home it melted and made me feel saddened and ashamed...

SC Cyclocross State Championships CX3s

Awwww yeah. Check out these crazy pictures from Saturday's CX3 race featuring Hawley purchasing department wunderkid, Will "I Have Knee Issues" Gillette! No write-up, just let your imagination run wild!


Holy moley! Look at the air the dude in the back gets on the downhill!!!!



This hill wasn't as bad as it looks, or was it???
Find the line, win a prize.

Nobody Told Me We WERE Wearing Clothes For This Sales Meeting

SC State Cyclocross Championships are happening in Greenville this weekend. When did we get a state championship? Well fiddlesticks! The Blog is currently in stage 2 of a chest cold but perhaps you'll be there racing for the precious Palmetto Jersey (a fiction) or the Jewel-encrusted Claymore Of Secession (an idle fancy, but not on the prize list). Here's the link in image form for folks who prefer graphic novels over real books. Sheesh.

Gel Blast Redux: Surely You Digest

The original Powerbar Gel Blast science project experiment was aborted after a wacky mix-up with a poisonous gas cloud, an enchanted amulet and velociraptor DNA. After the carnage was removed, the second experiment was started under tighter security. BEHOLD! I have named him Troy Jr. and something tells me, this bright lil' fella has an even brighter future ramming its ovipositor down an unsuspecting person's throat, laying an egg pod and destroying humankind before Christmas. Reality or fiction? Behold the fruit of our labor (non-childbirth labor you sickos)!!!

The Gel Blasts have tripled in size while absorbing their secret "energy fluid"
Shot from a helicopter... from space:
TROY JR! Say somethin' to all your adoring fans!