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Thursday, April 30, 2009

Today's Post: Vanderwritten

Writing a blog can be emotionally and sometimes physically draining, just ask Rich Dillen or that/those folks who do The Sartorialist (well not really cuz that's all pictures). But anyhoo, sometimes finding material can be a stretch. Although last month's post "Hawley Restroom Urinal Cake Theft Up 10 Percent For 2009" was salient to those of us employed here, to the average reader, it was irrelevant if not extremely gross. So imagine the blog boon with the Vanderkitten Team in the house! No words necessary, just take some pictures and walk away. Well, a few words of explanation. Colin (inside sales) is 0 for god knows what in arm wrestling so we figured he needed an ego massage: a victory! Sadly, the joke was supposed to be on him as Andy had arranged arm wrestler and Vanderkitten Jen Wilson to tangle with the pride of Greenville High School. Jen is strong, but Colin had a much greater inspiration: Steve Hawley standing behind him chanting "CO-LIN! CO-LIN!" while giving the pantomimed throat cutting motion. How is that for pressure? Surrounded by people you've never met before with the weight of the amateur arm wrestling circuit on your shoulders. It was almost too good to be true. Well, after the usual Andy Hale "I just want my picture taken" posturing, the match got under way with an aggressive textbook early-take-down move from Jen. Colin held firm and counteracted with a classic leverage-reversal. Jen hung in there, at one point screaming, "Help me baby Jebus, help me!" as steam literally shot out from Colin's ears. A few more grunts and it was Colin pinning Jen's arm to the table in a brave if not heroic display. I bet against Colin and lost five thousand dollars... so it goes. It was nice to hear the Vanderkittens' tales from the racing and traveling world. I only wish they could've met Mimi! Good luck in Spartanburg (The Blog's hometown)...


Jen having a laugh, Colin contemplating turning in his resignation.

Quick team snap with Carmen (Vanderkitten buyer) and Smokey Mountain Red. Oh yeah, and ANDY. I can't remember everybody's name, can somebody help a blog out?

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Sod 'em and New Flora!

With the new expansion comes new landscaping. Out with the old, diseased bushes, in with the new palm trees and shrubs of a variety the blog is not familiar with! Huzzah! The new cyclocross course for this fall's lunch time race series will run through the center of the new landscape complimenting Mr. Hawley's aesthetic vision, as if pulled directly from the lines of Pope's "An Epistle to the Right Honourable Richard, Earl of Burlington"! The Blog has no idea what Steve was thinking when he gave us the go ahead.... (kidding right honorable sir!)



Also in weird happenings, The Tibco Pro Cycling Team showed up unexpectedly at last night's Tuesday Night Crits according to Kyle. I guess they were still riding a euphoric high since their Twilight victory and Roswell 2nd place. Huh. They're still not worthy of airing up Vanderkitten's Storcks! Booyah! Buuuuuuuuuuurnnnn....


(Tibco SAG barrow)

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Lock Mess Gone-ster


Have you hugged your Kryptonite (buyer) today? The bike rack outside Hand Middle School, where bike locks go to die...

Monday, April 27, 2009

Athens, GA Twilight Crit 2009

(Many thanks to the Vanderkitten team for autographing Mimi's headshot. And yes, I don't know what "that's my pot pie" means either, but it sounds succulent!)
This past weekend saw the return of the Athens Twilight Crit to uh, Athens! This also marked the 2009 debut of Storck power couple Brittany Smith and Andy (Name Withheld) on the National Crit series scene in tow with the Vanderkitten race team astride their Absolutists.

(l ro r: Vanderkitten, Mandersmitten, Vanderkitten)
It also marked the debut of Hawley Fauntleroy Kyle McNamee at the Athens Crit, where he FAILED to qualify for the evening race, but SUCCEEDED in avoiding the big wrecks and from what I understand had a very respectable finish. Also in tow were lots of good Hawley folk including the big boss man himself (no, not Troy Whelan (inside sails, rigging), although he was there and was universally loved by all). The Blog was stuck in Columbia gigging and doing much needed laundry instead of attending the festivities so that means details, well a basic narrative or vague synopsis are nowhere to be found. much like a Paul Auster novel...


I did cull a few pictures in addition to some blurry/dim video footage from here and there to satiate your curiosity. Oh yeah, Joshie, Teenwolf and Brantley did a metric century ride in Aiken but those details are also sketchy at best. Joshie said the last he saw of Brantley was at Mile 16 when a Checker Cab pulled alongside the old man and in one deft move, Brantley threw down his half-eaten bag of pork rinds, lept from his bike through the open backdoor and screamed "Driver, take me to the nearest hospital! My heart stopped beating twenty minutes ago!" The old man's still got it!!!

("What's this on my top tube? 'Andy Hale Rulez!'??")




Friday, April 24, 2009

For Your Consideration

It's Friday. Whooo? The Blog is an exhausted, somehwhat sleep deprived pile of puke stemming from a late night gig that turned into a clambake (mistake riddled performance; Mike Watt) of epic proportions. Must've sweated something like 5 liters. Dear lord, it was awful. We call them "character builder" gigs around here. Anyhoo, Kyle caught the crit bug and has decided to drive down to Athens to throw down in some Twilight qualifying Saturday morning. Hopefully he and Jeremy will get a chance to hob nob with the Vanderkitten racers at Friday night's meet and greet AND secure an autographed photo of The Blog's beloved Mimi. How I love her so. She's a tuxedo cat! How can Vanderkitten turn down the request???

1) Liz Hatch video masquerading as a Vanderkitten invite with some Storck footage (courtesy of Storck braintrust: Dave Goeppner):
2) Radical "tacosaurus" from former Hawley stooge Brandon, now bothering good mountain folk in and around the Lake Tahoe area:


3) Potential Eleven 81 full finger glove design. I think I smell a lawsuit! This is indeed... your left.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Harbison MTB Race, 4-19

People showed, people raced, people won 12 dollars, people won 10 dollars. Somebody got a water bottle. The results are of no interest. What is of interest is Jose Texidor (international sales) showing up after hedging all week and throwing his hat into the Sport 40+ ring. JT dominated the microphone with his lyrical techniques then retired to Shaolin Manor for the evening. I don't remember seeing him on his bike but that could be the ether talking...


Will's aggressive passing style for this race is most definitely inappropriate, touching tires with Will Black's ole lady!



69er, 26er and 29er in the pro "field"


Greatest number plate ever!


Jeremy lends Jose a hand. Job well done JT! Kudos to you and your bad self!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Hawley Employee Misses Podium: By A Whisker!

Hawley employee and local teenage gadfly Kyle McNamee raced the Cat 5 State Championships this past weekend in Chucktown (Charleston, SC to those of you not in the know). Looked like it was a big field with 30+ riders racing the always exciting horse track on the Citadel campus. While the course lacked wacky turns and even wackier amounts of danger, it did provide excellent spectating vantage points and an overall feeling of geometric symmetry for those with obsessive compulsive disorder or for those who study it at a subatomic level. Joshie said "I have never been so satisfied by a course in my entire life. This oval, it completes me in ways you can't possibly imagine" The Blog didn't attend as it had its own fish to fry but heard about it through the local singles want ads in the Free Times. Succinctly, Kyle played it safe, coming to the front once, tucking in nicely, saving energy and then being in the front half for the start of the sprint. Looks like he was nipped by a bike length for third but it's no big loss. The "medals" handed out afterwards were drugs wrapped in tin foil that had been smuggled into the country earlier that morning. The racers were arrested and summarily executed. The blood... it was everywhere. Little known fact: The mayor of Charleston is Singaporean. It's true, Wiki it.




In distribution news, Lizard Skins handlebar tape finally showed up! Take it from the Blog and Joshie (he experimented with the pink), this is the best tape we have in stock. Super grippy with just the right amount of padding. Could it be your tape for cyclocross season? I've been using the white tape and unlike most white tape, it hasn't stained (well, it stained but not as bad as some of the other white tapes that I've used: Cinelli, Sram, Bontrager, Bike Ribbon). Plus it's made by a "dirt" company so you don't have to feel like a roadie asking for it in your local shop. One negative is that it's made by a "dirt" company, so if you're a dealer, make sure you rub the tape all over the hands, face and thorax of a prospective tape customer so they too can experience the grippy plushness. For Skins sake!

Each package has a "sample" patch on the outside of the packaging! Ingenious!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Fort Jackson Ride With Brantley and Two Others Who Are Of Little Consequence

Imperious Sun,
Frowning down upon our ride!
Will Brantley survive?


A giant Carolina Gamecock sign, ripe for the plucking!


Wow, must've been a low air pollution day. Been a long time since The Blog has seen a blue sky like this in Richland county. Feels like a Lomo shot!


Gnartastic singletrack shred session...



Brantley and his 45 year old Interbike jersey. It pre-dates Interbike!