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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Stupid Human Tricks

661 is a beloved vendor of the Hawley Company. Sandy (661 purchaser/Schnauzer browser) has a small reflecting pool in her cubicle shaped like the 661 logo full of belly-distended carp and pennies flicked from the fingers of outside reps buttressing their sales luck. It is said that the pool was constructed as a WPA project in the early 1940s long before 661 or Hawley existed. How can this be? That is not for you to ask insolent reader. Instead, feast your eyes upon the molecular mystery that is D30 (DEE-three-oh) technology. Simply put, super-intelligent molecules move with lightning quick reflexes, going from loose as a goose to tight and Betty White in nanoseconds. The D30 ectoplasm is soft and pliable in your hands, much like a baby's skull. However, when violently struck or when sensing itself in danger, D30 condenses into an impermeable, protective shield. Be warned, D30 is incapable of feeling human emotion, reciprocating love, lashing out in anger...

The 661 D30 Test kit, coming to a dealer near you via an outside sales rep not necessarily near you:
Orange goo? Check! Fischer Price mallet? Check!
Andy and Colin demonstrate the protective capabilities of D30. Andy refers to this as "The Cobra Strike":
Colin has second thoughts as the mallet rushes toward its target:
A perfect cobra strike!


Spiritof76 said...

It's truly amazing to see the diversity of the personal training rigors Colin is attempting in order to become a viable contender/prize fighter once again. However, it would be wise to remember his jedi training should be for arm wrestling.. not for breaking blocks of solid ice/carbonite with his head.

Anonymous said...

it's good to see you guys at Hawley working hard.

Ice-T said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Ghost of Jerry Reed said...

I agree with everything that has been written...