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Thursday, July 15, 2010

Two For Flinching

This morning's ride into work hurt all over for some reason. Good lord, it was slow going, hence the "Slow Bicycle Race" board game above. I need to find that game and play it. Some sort of hyper-reality thing, like "I'm IN the GAME", but the game is the same thing every morning and is starting to get kinda boring but mildly life-threatening. Like if William Gibson wrote scripts for Double Dare? If William Gibson replaced Mark Summer and HOSTED Double Dare? But to continue on this commuting rant, I'm so tired of humidity. Is it this bad everywhere else? When commuters at other distributors like Q or BTI or SBS ride in, are they covered in water 7 minutes into their ride? Pretty sure I've developed some sort of bib-related jungle disease. If we open a distribution center in Arizona, please powers-that-be, let me run that mutha! In other important news, Former Vanderkitten Liz Hatch protects her melon (singular):

Current Vanderkitten Jen X races her bicycle and snags a second! Huzzah Jen!
Current Hawley headset vendor and industry innovator Cane Creek sends their love via a headset compatibility tool. It's called the Gary gauge and we hope it's named after their customer service goon Gary. Gary is a pleasant fellow who lives, like a service droid, to serve you, the customer. Feel free to call Cane Creek and spout off all your headset related questions and remarks to the most patient listener this side of Dr. Jonathan Katz. This thing measures nugacity like nobody's business!

Former Hawley roughneck Marcie H. sends her regards via this sickeningly awesome display of American culinary hyperbole. The Double Down has entered its larval stage, ensconced itself within a cholesterol chrysalis and emerged as a brilliantly colored imago of gastro-genocide. Yes, this, this feels... right. To quote the Notorious BIG, a thousand grams uncut, to tha gut!


spokejunky said...

Watermelons are the new tin foil for repulsing alien signals. Or so I've heard.

Anonymous said...

Patrick's lunch?

bikechain said...

the sammie had be delicious and a gut bomb - right?