Have A Bloodbath/Pogrom-Free Weekend!

Tis’ the end of the week! Huzzah! We hope you have extricated yourself from the week-long toil Dame Fortune has chosen to manacle yourself to for the foreseeable future. Whether it’s goose-throttler or bundle-hurler, widow-napper or carriage polisher, your gainful employment and the small pittance you earn and take to your local cyclery for the latest bobble or trinket is what pays to have our executive washroom’s urinals gilded in the finest gold and jewels! Plebians, teak croquet mallets and palanquins carved from the tusks of wooly mammoths don’t pay for themselves! So it is in this generous frame of mind that the Hawley Company bids you to frolic and cavort amongst nature’s most precious treasures this weekend. If you find yourself in West Asheville recovering from another blood pudding/absinthe binge with your cretinous cohorts, then feel free to drop by the estate and I’m sure we shall find some sort of gainful distraction to employ you in. Have you done much horseshoe cobbling? Ascot laundering?

At least one person has a sense of humor when it comes to the recent "cyclist shot in the helmet by psychopath" incident in Asheville.


(taken yesterday evening on the commute home from work. "Our fair city!")

CXORAMMCRKCRSING

Baller.

Arrrrr, Guile: Wooleator Commute

(CLTH6711)

The Blog has girded its feet in many a lightweight, "breathable" sock for the oppressive summer morning commutes this season. As quality laundry time has been at a premium, The Blog was scraping the bottom of the barrel of the sock drawer this morning until gold was struck in the form of a forgotten pair of Defeet Wooleator argyles.

Hot corn! They were just what the doctor ordered, if your physician, like mine, is completely insane and prescribes socks instead of antibiotics. Still haven't shaken this nagging case of scurvy/tooth rot/the vapors. In addition to the revelation of the Wooleators as a summertime commuter, The Blog thought the sky looked particularly beautiful this morning, enfusing ghastly bits of nocturnal flotsam from the urban shipwreck that is Rosewood Drive with a patina of rose and tangerine. Still smelled like vomit, urine and battery acid. I love my city!


And for you weight weenies, the Wooleators weigh in at an impressive 60 grams soaking wet!


And for you work bench weight weenies, the DS-2 digital scale weighs in at a scant 246 grams! Weighing a scale on a scale? Did I just blow your mind? William Gibson has nothing on The Blog. Happy Thursday imbeciles!!!!!!!

Wednesday Morning Tweets Of Interest

Interesting, from Bradley Wiggins. By the way, "Wiggin' Out" would be a great name for his blog. Is that term even used in the UK? :


Interesting tweet from Shaq concerning Marbury's vaseline-eating meltdown (feel free to google it). Pretty sure you would never see Tom Danielson eating a handful of chamois butter, but then again, I have never met Tom Danielson...

Children Of The ORAMM

A few random shots courtesy of Kelly Smith. First up, Rich Dillen railing a switchback on his Moots in a jazzy BLACK AND WHITE Moots kit! Look at those white Stan's hoops! 8 inch front rotor!





Women's Open class winner Carey Lowery shows good form on the downhill. She won by a "country mile" and was gracious enough to donate her winnings to The Blog.


Ole Bloggy on his Hawley race bike. I.e., all these parts came from the Hawley catalog. It's like a rolling advertisement people! American Classic wheels, Avid brakes, FSA Cockpit, Cane Creek 110, Thomson Elite Post, Selle Italia Saddle, Ergon Gripz, Stylo Crankset, XTR Pedals. Pay no attention to the tires or frame...

Post-TDF Twitters From American Cycling Glitterati

First, sad news from Big George Hincapie...

Second, vacation news from Lance Armstrong...And third, a stun gun capable of shocking three people before reloading, courtesy of DZ....

ORAMM-ifications

This Sunday saw Jeremy attempt his first ORAMM. This morning, Dr. J referred to it as a "character builder". Not sure what he meant by that, but he had a good time and didn't kill himself on Kitsuma or Heartbreak! It was good seeing all sorts of kind folk from the blogosphere. Even Dicky rolled up and chatted ever so briefly about my tire choice as I licentiously eyed his wheel set. White rims forever! Anyhoo, a write-up would be pointless at this time, but if you wade through the local cycling blogs, you're sure to find all sorts of harrowing accounts of cheating death! Oh yeah, while riding along Kitsuma the second time, a black bear clattered through the woods 20 yards away. Jiminy crickets, that got me to the finish a lil' sooner...

Monday Morning Spit Take Moment

Click on the link and prepare to have your collective minds (hive-mind, if you insist) blown!!!

(courtesy of Eric Creek)

"Have A Frank And Productive Weekend"

Is that a Principal Skinner quote? Can't remember, brain cortex packed...full...of Zaxby's...difficult...to type. Ugh. Anyhoo, some of us Hawley folk are doing the ORAMM thing this weekend while at least one of us (Jeremy) is actually racing. Pretty sure the lanky leprechaun, the freckled freak, the Southern Dandy, the Origami-Mommy is coming into late season form and as he eats Pisgah gnar for afternoon tea, a dominating performance along the lines of a Van Halen "Hot For Teacher" drum intro is in the offing. Jer desecrated an 8 by 10 glossy of Sam Koerber with his own body waste this morning. Then he autographed and mailed it to Willow!!!!!! Booyah! By the way, Troy (inside sales) is living la dolce vita at Disney World right now. He sends us this greeting, from the vacuumous inner reaches of space...

Cadel For The Win Today?

He's leaving his team at the end of the season so maybe he'd like to leave The Tour with a bang, or something gross in the toilet at the team hotel? What does that have to do with inflatable toast or Unicorn vengeance? More than you know, more than you know...

More Time Trials And Tribulations

Hawley gumshoe reporter Kyle (many thanks) gives us another "crash as it happened". This time, it's Allesandro Ballan, the world road race champion, slippin' and slidin' across the tarmac. Get a load of that team car! Custom roof rack!!!

The "Predator" Theater Players Discuss Le Tour

Stage 17...