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Thursday, July 02, 2009

Wednesday Group Ride

Life is just a bowl of pork chops. And so it was written, in gossamer tear drops, as Jeremy, Jittery Jed and yours truly waited on Andy downtown for a chillaxed post-work ride. The Storck van rumbled up and out pops Andy in Storck kit and white Oakleys circa 1992. After 15 minutes of gum flapping and Andy-primping, we get rolling. Destination: Fort Jackson.

Andy was kind enough to let the Blog exchange his Lobster for a Storck Fenomalist. 14 pounds with Dura Ace and Syntace cockpit. Crimony. The bike rode smooth as silk and accelerated like Rush Limbaugh's heart at a pharmacists convention. Handling was snappy as was its climbing abilities. Ride conversation touched all the bases like bikes, work, wine, women, song, GI Joe DVD re-releases, all liberally peppered with Andy's Smokey Mountain idioms. Jed gave a concise rundown of the pros and cons of four different carbon tubular wheel brands. Much knowledge was dropped and The Blog came to the conclusion that Zipps are the most bang for your buck but Reynolds would be a heavy-duty secondary choice. One rear flat deflated the tail end of the ride, but Andy's experience with Vanderkitten as their race mechanic had the flat changed in record time. Those ladies are in capable hands. You can almost taste the sarcasm! And yes, Andy had 3 different I-Pods with him on the ride and seemed disappointed he cold only use one. Seriously, three I-Pods on a group ride. Andy followed The Blog home back through Shandon as we bid adieu and wished each other luck in our travels. We shall miss that candy-obsessed man-child.
On bike isometric exercises

Andy follows me home, a la Michael Myers in that state hospital station wagon from "Halloween"

Finally got some good post ride data. The solid line is an average between my awesomeness and seriosity divided by "b'lee dat". The range goes from 10 to 1000 to the 10th power (1.0 x 10 to the 30th). The dotted line measures my urge to pee adjusted to bladder wall pressure. I printed the info out after the ride from my new Awesomenosity computer, "Awe Snap!" (made by Sigma). Metachlorian count held steady for the duration of the ride.If I can sustain this level of awesomeness through July, my Metachlorian count will be at Jedi levels by September. Then comes the mind control stuff. Dagobah never had it so good.


spokejunky said...

Midi-chlorians are the Star Wars cellular life forms which live symbiotic lives with all Jedi.

Yours truly,
Sci fi geek who has no life, but to correct blogs and in doing so furthers his geekiness. My son is so proud.

Mister Fahrenheit said...

Robot sez:

It's "Dagobah"