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Thursday, May 29, 2008

A Pill For All Seasons

Commuting takes its toll on both mind and body. While mental lassitude and trepidation can be bolstered with a fresh I-Pod playlist, a new jersey with eye-catching colors or a pint of whiskey and spoonful of heroin with the usual morning bagel and grapefruit, physical deterioration is far more difficult to remedy. Throughout the office and warehouse, commuters have begun to speak of "sore knees", "tired legs" and "confederate ghosts" plaguing their rides into work. The solution? Pills, powders and a certain South Congaree ghost hunter with a predilection for leather chaps and coonskin hats . We (the Royal "We") take all of the "things" pictured below as well as several hundred other "things" not pictured. My favorite is Hammer Nutrition's Boron Capsules. According to the bullet points, these little wonders stave off osteoporosis, enhance workload tolerance, aid recovery and supercharge your LIBIDO! Brantley screamed, "Hot corn! I'll take six boxes sucka!!!" as he ran down the hallway, clicking his heels like a man half his 68 years!

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