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Friday, August 01, 2008

Lustrous, Valuable Metal... Motley Crue?

GOLD! Empires have flung themselves to the farthest reaches of the world in search of it. Nations for centuries have girded their economies upon it. Alchemists have searched in vain to recreate it. 1980s break dance crews and action TV shows starring George Peppard subsisted off of it. Flash-forward to the present day. Now go back a few hours because you've gone too far. Now peruse our online catalog post haste, because when it comes to gold bicycle chains and the merciless shenanigans of Spanish conquistadors and their subsequent annihilation of indigenous people, there is nothing better, NOTHING I TELL YOU (!) than the KMC Z-10 1/8" chain (CHAN10027). Put it on your bike and flaunt your newly acquired wealth and self-respect (known as "flossing" in the Rosewood neighborhood, where many an ankle has been broken by my wicked cross over and James Worthy-esque reverse lay ups). Wear it around your neck, adorned with bobbles and trinkets and pity fools, many fools. Flog an insolent cockney bootblack with it! "This will chain your unfettered tongue you scurrilous knave!!!" Oh yeah, have a nice weekend...

1 comment:

spokejunky said...

Does it come with a free diamond encrusted gold tooth cap? I need to improve my ride and my grill.