My Malevolent Minions Make Monday Mornings Much More Meaningful

(A Skyway leans indolently upon a street post yesterday afternoon)
Good morning fellow wage slaves! Cheerio and all that from deep within the lavender scented recesses of the Hawley distribution compound and boarding school for Fauntleroys! I trust you had a weekend of merriment and joyous frivolity. The Blog's activities consisted of attending a small gathering of acquaintances to celebrate the impending nuptials of a fellow neer-do-well. Croquet, celery sandwiches and servant flogging led to the requisite riparian harpsichord recital concluded with polite applause and moist towelettes. Then came the cobra venom spritzers and the evening became a white-hot blur of ever-spiraling-out-control mayhem. Speaking of ever-spiraling-out-of-control mayhem, Hawley homeslicez Jeremy and Will went to the River's Edge Marathon race in Queeeeen City Saturday afternoon. According to Jeremy, Will took a "bit of a tumble" (wash out on a footbridge) which ended his race prematurely, but not before riding a titanium 1994 Diamondback 6 sizes too small for him (thank you Scorch and Herb) while Jeremy fared slightly better, dominating, nay destroying, nay scandalizing his class while scooping up a 3rd overall to boot! One can only look to Mr. Jeremy's scandalous new facial hair as the reason for his sudden boost in form. But wait, there's even more scandalicious news as Colin has returned from his weeklong sojourn in Seattle. What strange things did he see? What bizarre rituals did he see done... and have done to him??? Elk stuff???