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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Candy Bowl Update:Prognosis Negative

(Backstage at last week's concert. I pulled the lever but nothing cycling related occurred)

Halloween is just around the corner and that means it's time for TNT to broadcast "Halloween IV" and a seriously edited version of "Tremors II" (The director's cut has an 18 minute long Michael Gross beard trimming scene) for approximately 4 days straight. It also means candy is a constant presence in the hallowed Hawley halls. Well, it would appear front desk impresario Marcie Helms has thrown down the gauntlet and taken candy bowls to the next level. First it was Milk Duds. Then came the Whoppers. Then came the Snickers. Then Milky Ways, Three Musketeers, Twix (One of the rarer candy bowl treats) and the most delicious of them all: Kit Kat. You basically get 8 candy bars in one package because you can eat each paper-thin wafer layer at a time for maximum savoring. Marcie is a good, kind person as she keeps the bowl stocked at all times. Even more amazing is that Marcie has been paying for this candy out of her own pocket so we're planning on taking a collection and using the money to buy a jewel-encrusted talking candy bowl that speaks "Happy Halloween" in a fake Dracula voice through a crappy speaker each time you take a piece! What time does Big Lots close? Trick question hot shot, it never closes! By the way, the only point of this post is to make old man Eric Smith of CANE CREEK insanely jealous. He's probably saying to himself right now, "Dang! That Bloggy got me good!" as he whittles some sort of animal figure out of a block of pine whilst sitting in the Cane Creek cafeteria listening to a local jug band pump out some spooky tunes. Hippies. Pfft.

Said candy bowl:

Oddly enough, Marcie rebuffed my offer of an Almond Joy. It has fruit in it. Protein too. It's practically health food. It sits on her desk uneaten. That's your cue Troy. Fly my pretty and gorge! Gorge!

(Almond Joy, mint condition, MIB, OOP, $3.99 NO RESERVE!)


Miss Jumper said...

Ohhh sweet kenny and his candy

Spankye said...

You are correct, jealous i am. although i did just get a Bit-O-Honey out of our candy bowl. We have some delicious caramels in there are well.