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Tuesday, October 06, 2009

What Killed Luther Vandross? Thomson Seatpost Collars?

(possible murder weapons)

Well, this is just a guess and probably contrary to the autopsies and "medical data" provided by so-called "professionals", but The Blog thinks the cause of Mr Vandross's untimely demise was the LUTHER BURGER, which was freaking named after the guy because he apparently invented it, no doubt through some sort of black magic or alchemy. What planet is this thing from? Why would this thing "occur"? Vandross was a huge music superstar, why would he need to etch his name in the annals of culinary infamy??? I only stumbled upon this was after a fruitless search for bona fide nutritional information about my beloved mythological DOUBLE DOWN!

Behold, some quasi-concrete numbers from a bunch of freaks in Vancouver (of all places). No nutritional information for this abomination, but the photo has raised several eyebrows (in addition to cholesterol).

Sadly, while the DOUBLE DOWN is a work of art, a creation born of labor and love, the McGangbang is nothing more than a Frankenstein-ian amalgam-hodgepodge lacking the creativity and inspiration that elevates the mundane to the sublime. It displeases me. HEAVE HO! On a related note, The Blog has been suffering though a chest cold all weekend so yesterday's post was preempted because I was lying in bed manufacturing thoracic milkshakes for 13 hours. Best way to get rid of the lung butter? Ride into work. The ride took 45 minutes longer than usual, but I was soon launching loogie after loogie (type A. compacted bolus). Rolling up the Knox Abbott bike lane, a kindly business was nice enough to have its sprinklers shooting directly into traffic.

We won't name the business, but isn't there a law against this kind of buffoonery? First, it was raining and their sprinklers were going full blast. Second, they were going full blast into any pedestrian or bike rider who happened to be passing by (me!). Prepare the full blast email complaint.

By the way, the much-delayed Thomson seat post collars have started to trickle in. Lots of tinkering and jiggering followed by re-jiggering went into these seemingly innocuous trinkets (the reason for the delay, one would assume). If you ride a Thomson seat post, there is absolutely no reason not to have this girding its shaft. It weighs 29 grams, which is only 2 grams less than the total fat in a DOUBLE DOWN! Scissor me timbers!


brado1 said...

Long live the Double Down!

joshie said...

oh yea!!! Scissor, SCISSOR!

dwight yoakam said...

been dealing with sinus cold as well . . . the weather snapped quickly here - a foot of snow on the porch over the weekend!

perfect sprinkler note.

Miss Jumper said...

This post needs more McGangbang..