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Monday, May 04, 2009

Hawley Folk Versus Steep Grades: The Reckoning

No write up, just a few candid snaps of Hawley stooges Joshie and Jim "I Consume My Exoskeleton On A Bi-Weekly Basis" Snyder during their Tour De Cashiers ride. According to the good folk who were there, it rained and was "cold". Exoskeleton-freezing cold. The midlands were warm, the upstate was temperate and the mountains were uncomfortable. Who knew? Wonder how the trails were holding up at PMBAR?

(Jim dominates a small, feral and malnourished forest-child on one of the many climbs around Cashiers. Notice the glistening exoskeleton, its Chitin-calcium carbonate composition repels the stingiest of rain showers)

Pastor Troy told me the Vanderkittens avoided the rain at the Dilworth Crit but the Men's Pro field was apparently "not so lucky". Rain reared its ugly and watery head during the race and the most trecherous turn on the course began digesting hapless riders at an unusually high rate. Perhaps they'll rename it "Sarlacc Pit". Perhaps they won't, but then they'll lose the always important "Star Wars" demograph. One more reason you'll never see the Blog in a crit, unless there's wagering to be had, then, to quote scholar W. Snipes, "Always bet on Blog". Those last few sentences were confusing so allow me to clarify: If I am challenged to race in a crit against diehard Star Wars fans, then I will consider it if there is money or X-Wing replicas to be wagered. If not, then you'll only hear my trenchant heckling as I spectate from my luxury Sky-yacht (or Zeppelin if you're of that persuasion). By the way, the Vanderkitten "Ice" jerseys are in stock. Get them while they're "HOT" (sorry, couldn't resist. feel free to send hate mail to kklatte@hawleyusa.com)

(When watching the Sarlacc footage, pay special attention to the comments section, notably the Boba Fett escape comments. Those folks would make excellent crit opponents. {no hate mail please, only love mail})


Philip said...

Nice to see you guys out there doing it !!!!

spokejunky said...

All the Star Wars geeks know the only person who survived a Sarlac pit was Boba Fett son of Jengo Fett son of Shysa Fett. So in essence you're saying that only one Pro finished the race. Nevermind, I've got a Lego Millenium Falcon to assemble.