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Behind Bridal Veil Falls at Dupont after 3 inches of rain.
"Raja", the Dwarf Lioness. (Pre-shapeshift)
The new fraternity fashion: Velcro laces. Spied at Great Clips.
"you need a manicure, Jose Carlo"Well gentle reader, stories of Interbike debauch have been trickling in. The general theme has something to do with meeting people by coincidence, ingesting foodstuffs provided free of charge, and not having time to visit all the booths. After a cursory verbal survey of the purchasing department, it looks like Hawley might be adding a handful of very interesting vendors for 2010. Does the name GENERAL FREAKIN' MOTORS ring any bells? Just kidding, we didn't buy them but have profound admiration for the town that Robocop built (and subsequently destroyed). But enough about imaginary corporate acquisitions and Peter Weller. It appears Dave G. espied a Storck out west... on top of a ROLLS ROYCE!
Did The Blog just blow your mind? Carmen and Jose espied Dave J. from Jett and Mafia Racing and subsequently chowed down on hamburgers at Crossvegas. Then the Hawley crew espied the V'Kittens at the Thursday night crit race. They took the team overall for the season (I think). Lots of high fives and Andy slapping all around.
Eleven81 sponsored Team Mountain Khaki rider Mark Hekman won the US national Crit series overall. How about that? Pretty wacky! Big thanks to Bruce and Brittany for not knowing that I was lifting these photos from thier harddrive.
Brittany tries her first Bug Guts at Crossvegas. She is making the "I want to shoot myself in the head" hand gesture and not the Highlander "In the end there can be only one" gang sign:
Teenwolf exchanges paper money for goods and services... FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HIS LIFE:
Bob Roll and Andy, 5 seconds before the second best pepper spraying of 2009 occured:
The VK crew with Andy and Brittany.I think I see some Singleworks font in the background!
The Hawley Crew: L to R: Fibinacci the Mentalist, Nurse Flamingo, Spruce Goose, Knuckle Sandwich McGee, Lonnie the Landlubber From Another Dimension, Professor Radical The Woman Whose Hair Catches Fire:
Ridley the wunderkitten!
Well, I guess we can officially announce that service center lackey and Terrapin Wunderkid Jeremy Edge has moved on to greener pastures. Friday was the tall one's last day at Hawley so we sent him out with the customary Mexican lunch, pinata, mariachi band and some lovely parting gifts from Black and Decker, John Deere and Rice A Roni. Thanks for playing Jerm! From what I could discern from his rambling and totally incoherent letter (46 pages, 39 of them devoted to "Meow-Meow Island, The Fabulous Floating Feline City"!), Jeremy is joining the Double Barrel team at Cane Creek. All the luck old chum!
There are things that rock harder then most things rock-related. The Melvins for example. Van Halen. Eric B and Rakim for sure. But there are few musical acts who bring the rock force, the energy harder and more in your face than Hall and Oates. Those who know the Blog know what position on the "legends ladder" these folk hold. OK, not as high as "Ram"-era McCartney or Stewart-era Faces but they're up there in the superstar pantheon! So imagine my Roger Rabbit-styled bug eyed surprise when warehouse receiving hombre Chris Maret gives me a bona fide Hall & Oates tour belt buckle! One hundred percent pewter and 1000 percent brain collapsing. There is no point to this post except for showing off this piece of rock history for all the stumblebums lazing about at Interbike. Soak it in folks, "It don't get no better"! Have a frank and productive weekend. We shall see you Monday...
"Stretch em out fellas..."
The Blog got a text message from Carmen around midnight. It said something about "hanging out with Mafia racing at the cross race drinking PBR". Seriously? Is that how it's going to be? Rubbing it in The Blog's face like so many custard cream pies from a piece of slapstick cine-trash? Well, after that, sleep was now a luxury and the looming spectre of insomnia grew in size and menace. His name is Gerald Anderson and he keeps me awake. Anyhoo, enough about the gh-gh-gh-ghosts that live in my house (sic. brain). So in order to pass the time, I sat around reading a book about Impulse records, cleaned up the kitchen (gave the absinthe-coated goblets a double scrubbing), practiced some fencing with a passerby (unsuspecting crackhead), inward singing, and alphabetized my spice rack. After all that, it was only 5 in the AM so with a shrug of the shoulders, a kit was donned and it was out the door for a leisurely ride around the city before riding to work.
Although humidity was around 100 percent, it was nice to have entire lanes to myself. Ahhh, so this is what's it's like to ride in a post-apocalyptic world where humanity has been wiped off the face of the earth, like "The Omega Man"!!!
Adluh building and the State Capital...
The Siren Song...
After rooting around in outside rep Bruce "Spruce Goose" McCarthy's Facebook and Twitter photos, The Blog found a few tasty morsels of Storck related ephemera. First, behold Bruce, New York super-rep Herb and Germaniac Markus celebrating a joint birthday. No touching!
There's nothing like a brutally hot, arid desert climate to help down mouthfuls of chocolate chip birthday cake! Second, Ian, Morgan and Smokey Mountain Red pose with the freakishly futuristic Aero 2! Carbon? Check. German engineering? Check. Tiagra brakes, Eleven 81 platform pedals and 7 speed cluster? Triple check! Hang on to your cardigan granny, the future is here and it's ready to give you a cycling spanking, granny style, from the future...
Ahoy hoy mortals, it is I, The Blog! How is this Monday treating you as you scurry around like ants while I sit here upon my celestial cycling throne wondering what death, hangovers and uncomfortable silences feel like. It ain't easy bloggin' when you've got Highlander responsibilities in addition to the usual "mortal", non-decapitating responsibilities like entering all the new Craft HOODIES into Onesource so they'll show up in our catalog in 3 months and then your local bike shop, perhaps Chuck's Bike O Rama, and then you can call up Michael Bronson and order like, I dunno, fifty of them and drive the price of Craft stock up 900 percent.
Casual hoodies are the new black for 2010. Jump on the trend! Speaking of Highlanders, here is a picture of a top tube with Scott Stapp's face on it. "What a sec, he's no Highlander!" you're screaming at your screen right now through mouthfuls of Combos and Cheerwine! Ah au contraire mon frere. It appears Mr. Stapp attended Orlando's Lake Highland Preparatory School! Serendipity!
Anyhoo, the office is pretty quiet today as most of the flotsam and jetsam is at Interbike prepping for the insanity. A few stragglers have stayed behind to water the mules and flog the orphans, but all in all, an unusually quiet day at Hawley Manor... but how long may the peace last?
A brief glimpse into the mind of Andy Hale. Smokey Mountain Red slipped me this telltale scrap from Andy's desk. Upon it, he has calculated future bicycle part purchases. Even though 200 dollars for a Fizik saddle is disturbing, Andy's self portrait gives us the heebie jeebies. It's got the tell-tale faux hawk and the mullet at a jaunty angle. The sad clown frown and soul patch are also super-weird. The "can't save" is almost a cry for help. Of course you can't save And-tron, you're piddling your savings away in hair gel and candy corn! "It's time to grow up young man", Brittany's words, not mine. Speaking of words, The Blog noticed Jen X in the pages of that nefarious scandal rag, "Bicycling". Full page spread is tight like Betty White!
Speaking of tight, here is a little Carolina Panthers insanity from Eric at Cane Creek via The Blog's friend Herbanero. My brain... it just did a somersault of incomprehension. It has nothing to do with bikes yet at the same time, it has EVERYTHING to do with bikes!!!
Late edit: Interesting and thankfully short article on some tubular cross tires. We don't carry Dugast but have Challenge and Tufo on board: TIRED
Well, Joshie has been in San Francisco for umpteen days and we have neither seen nor heard from our intrepid graphics department savant/feral man-child. Who knows what strange, mysterious adventures Joshie has found himself embroiled? Perhaps a trip to Chinatown for the procurement of all-natural "enhancement" herbs has led to more nefarious, unspeakable activities amongst the seedier populace? We can only speculate and then pass these speculations off as fact. After consulting our Joshie Tracker, it seems the gentle giant has been firmly planted in the Castro district, probably visiting boutique after boutique satisfying his philatelistic longings.
Oh how we wish we were by his side, perusing book after book in search of the odd Scinde Dawk, Perot Provisional or Treskilling Yellow! Anyhoo, since we cannot be by Joshie's side like so many conjoined twins, we have done the next best thing: using his personal coffee mugs all week. By "using", we must clarify that no liquids have been consumed from said mugs, but a few liquids have been distilled within them! Huzzah! To celebrate these defilements, Judy in accounting bought several boxes of Krispy Kreme donughts for the office.
She said they were in fact for Cindy's (customer service honcho) 38th birthday, but The Blog knew that they were a subtle "thank you" from our friends in accounting. We're all in this thing together people and don't... you...forget...it! So while we're speaking of desecrating Joshie's personal belongings, let's make a list of the souvenirs the Blog hopes to get upon Joshie's return: Barry Bonds Spaghetti Strap Tank Top (XXL), Grateful Dead Embalming Fluid (72 oz), "World's Worst Trolley Accidents" (paperback), "Big Trouble In Little China" movie poster autographed by James Hong who played David Lo Pan, Black Blood of the Earth, and a vhs copy of "A View To A Kill". It's funny, the last half of that movie is better than visiting San Francisco because your tour guides are a raisin-textured Roger Moore, an incomprehensible sociopath named Christopher Walken and a shape-shifting Grace Jones.
Oh yes, while we're talking aimlessly about San Francisco, lets turn the unflinching spotlight on one of the Bay Area's most infamous bike companies: Soma! Founded by French Huguenots in the 1700s, Soma originally made a heady, intoxicating elixir that was sold to the inhabitants of an Aldous Huxley novel. Then after a few centuries, they switched over to bike parts, bought a Salad Shooter, out fiddled Satan, released two Slick Rick E.P.s and the rest was bicycle history! Here is their latest saddle, the Tabo. It has nothing to do with the fabled Selle Italia TUR-BO saddle except everything, but at an affordable price that'll leave more money in your pocket for your ungrateful children who secretly want to murder you! But getting back to the saddle, I have nothing more to say about it except that it is comfy, white and ready for your hind quarters! Good day!
Oh YES, you meant to say. Seems like the good folk at the AV Club have caught on to the craze that's sweeping two isolated markets and sent an intrepid, masochistic/suicidal reporter to Providence, RI to test his mettle against the aforementioned Double Down. Without a doubt, the most comprehensive review of the elusive beast to date! Click on the airship for more, if you dare
My apologies to the country, no...world, for not having anything for you to indulge all of the 6 senses yesterday. I was completely involved in fabricating Kenny "Cat-man cruthers" Klatte's new integrated seat post and saddle. It was a true task getting the lines right so as not to cause a break in the aesthetic flow that is the blog's ride which happens to be "plum crazy" purple. Head out to the prototype room with me and we shall see the upgrades.....
Well slap me side saddle. What an organic look!! Made of the finest white pine, sourced from the shelving under isle "S" and sculpted with the finest cardboard money didn't have to buy. Sure to last and super supple. You're welcome!!!
Sculpting the saddle was no easy task. After days of deciphering the blog's slightly sideways canter, much like that of a schnauzer, I managed to find the perfect mix of comfort and style, while still maintaining the sleek lines of a racer's saddle. I will begin taking orders this week. Please note: fabrication time can take over 6 minutes. 115% deposit required.
Speaking of well crafted components, Jim "stumpy limbs" Snyder hooked me up with some uber- sweet Straightline Pedals. The Gnar was reduced to rubble with SPD like grip to the pedals.
Speaking of Straightline, the stems are buck nasty as well. The wedge clamping system is super clean and looks jam up and jelly tight with me red accents.
Now back to the program. Check this guy's custom kite that I spotted just before sundown at the beach. I wonder why he waited until everyone went in for the day. I would have engaged the hyper drive on this hog around noon. You would need Darth Maul's two ended light saber to fight off the ladies. I can only imagine the convo going on right now:
"yes, I know your parents want to to stay until Saturday. I just really need to get back to Rock Hill for the last class at Books-a-Million so I can get my Jedi certificate. Yes I know I am 32 .........but ......you sai........we talked abou ........FINE! But I get to wear my light saber to Capt. Pete's Seafood .............but ......owww! Will you at least carry it in your purse? I love you .......I do .....I'll dress up as a Jawa later .......I love you......"
Here is a little pre-lunch appetizer for all you with gurgling tummies. I scored this little post Gnar smorgasbord at the HWY 11 Pit stop. Boiled peanuts, apple butter, gold-n-chez, and Arizona orange and grape aid. Fit for a King!!!!!!!
The Blog was expecting The Tice Man Cometh to write today's entry. Call it a botched communication on my part. Shan't happen again! Anyhoo, regular transmissions shall resume tomorrow! No matter what Joshie does in San Francisco, he won't find one of these suckers in the Asheville of the West, or will he???:
Dear Joshie,
We hope you're having a good time in San Francisco. How was your flight? Did you get a complimentary soft drink or snack? I hope they gave you the snack mix that consists of pretzels and seasoned Chex Mix. That is a most satisfying repast. Once, on a flight from Tel Aviv to Osaka, I found a penny (!) in my snack bag. Can you imagine that? What are the odds? And, "You, Me, and Dupree" was the in-flight movie! Hilarity ensued, fifteen times before the plane met tarmac. Anyhoo, every contact address you gave me is in the Castro District. I thought you were going sight-seeing. I'm sure there are plenty of sights in the Castro District, but I thought you wanted to see the Golden Gate thing with your wife? Bike Knut? And who is Darrell? And what is "Mr. Mustachio's Cabaret"? We're a little confused to say the least. Speaking of travel plans with homoerotic overtones, did you ever see "Magnum Force"? It's the second Dirty Harry movie and it takes place on the mean streets of San Francisco. There's a great scene where Harry is showing his gun to another officer. As a non-gun owner, its startling lack of anything intelligible is breathtaking:
Officer Phil Sweet: What kind of a load do you use in that .44?
Harry Calahan: It's a light Special. This size gun it gives you better control and less recoil than a .357 Magnum with wadcutters.
SAY WHAT?!? That's awesome! What are they talking about? Now you know how it feels to talk about seat tube angles, rake and wattage in front of a gun toting vigilante. You're always one incomprehensible bike term away from staring down the barrel of an unnecessarily powerful weapon. Speaking of "unnecessarily powerful weapons" Joshie, my five year old nephew had his first soccer game, EVER! He's five remember. According to reports, his dribbling could use a little work but his attitude was George Best-esque, minus the drunkenness. Look for him to set the soccer world ablaze 13 years from now. In the picture below, he and a fellow teammate remove moisture from each other's epidermis to enhance their speed and technique.
Speaking yet again of "unnecessarily powerful weapons", new super-tiny Lezyne hand pumps are finally in stock. As you can plainly see from the pictures, they're a miniscule 6.5 inches in their compacted form but are a full 12 inches when extended to pump mode. It's GO TIME!
Had the opportunity to try out one of these bad boys on Sunday's ride and it worked like a charm. Probably the easiest valve interface ever. No air loss upon dis-engagement and the pump itself fits into a jersey pocket with nothing poking out (at a diagonal)! The only reason I mention this is because you had mentioned acquiring a pump on Castro and wanted to save you the search! Just call me your old buddy who is looking out for you! I will send another letter with office requests for sourvenirs. Hope all is well!
Ole Bloggy
P.S. Troy farted on your keyboard.
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