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Friday, January 15, 2010

Aloha! That means "Hello" and "Spoke Nipple" in Hawaii

As in, could you pass me that Aloha? Holy fudge, I dropped Alohas all over the shop floor. Has anybody seen Randy? Yeah, he's takin' a huge Aloha in the bathroom.... Andy and Bruce's Storcks bid Hawley "Aloooooha"....

The Outside Sales reps came, saw and conquered this week at stately Hawley Manor. Well, all the reps came, saw and conquered, but Herb Hart conquered a little more than most. The man was a repping machine. He was positively reptilian. Everybody loves Herb, but no demograph loves him more than the local plaque company who made about 50,000 dollars from Herb's MANY awards. That not to say others didn't win some cheddar but Herb dominated like Gary Busey at a "You Are Seriously Creepin' Me Out" convention.

From Left To Right: Steve Hawley, Master Shredder, Ian Cross

Not to be denied an award, new north Florida outside rep Andy "Pre-Op" Hale received the "You're On Thin Ice" award given to the weakest cog in the repping machine. After Ian Cross gave it to him followed by a pantomimed throat slitting motion, Andy pulled out a soiled piece of notebook paper and read off a list of names (some real, some fictional) who he thanked for their "continued support". So hopefully, any of Andy's shops who are reading this, PLEASE help that poor child. Brittany can't survive another winter wearing kleenex box shoes and eating ketchup packet soup.

A man with no worries and even less sense...
Speaking of mind-numbing poverty, there is no caste of untouchables more destitue or miserable than custom frame builders. They are literally two rungs below that nest of squirrels that live in the oak tree outside my house. Therefore, it would be a good idea to attend the 2010 NAHBS in February or live with the guilt that the Igleheart studio pulled a Donner Party on each other. That is all.

Andy shows off the NAHBS card and his new, obnoxious sunglasses....
I keep my card next to my lycanthropic transformation timetables, and SO SHOULD YOU!


Big Bikes said...

That would be particularly messed up if the Igleheart studio "pulled a Donner party on each other." Cuz Christopher is a one man show.

After he ate himself into paraplegia, things would get interesting. "Do I eat my left arm or start eviscerating myself one semi-superfluous organ at a time?"

Productivity in the studio would take a rapid nose-dive anyway.


Mister Fahrenheit said...

If y'all come up to the handmade bike show, drop me a line. I may stick my head in there.

Spiritof76 said...

Thosse sunglasses are indeed obnoxious.