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Monday, January 11, 2010

A Gathering NOT Consisting of Juggalos; Last Mention Of Gymkata EVER

The combined forces of the Hawley Outside Sales staff have assembled at stately Hawley Manor for its yearly sales meeting. In an unrelated note, alcohol-fueled mayhem in Lexington County saw an overnight spike of 7000 percent. Just kidding; every last one of those guys are teetotalers. Well, Andy freebases Sour Patch Kids but abstains from the Old John Barleycorn. Anyhoo, with "gang all here" that meant a single elimination ping pong tournament was in order to kick off the week-long festivities. No injuries to report and most of the pong never devolved into the adolescent showboating of street-pong (see "And 1 Pong Mixtape"). Rumor has it Teenwolf is leading a seminar concerning warranties for the outsiders. Should be interesting. Just kidding!!! I see a pair of these in Dennis Berg's future: GAH!

Ian Cross and El Presidente watch the sweet sweet pong action while Utah rep John Eighmey establishes a mind-meld with other like-minded Gymkata enthusiasts (all six of us)....

I was thinking about "Gymkata" this weekend... a lot. Not gonna lie to you. It haunts my dreams. I like to imagine 25 years ago when some mentally stable studio exec said, "You can't possibly tie cold war paranoia with ninja on gymnast violence!" while pounding his fists on an oversized mahogony desk, Robert Clouse ("Gymkata" director and convicted war criminal) retorted with, "Why not?" as he did some sort of Jedi hand wave. When normal minded movie-goers questioned the use of a pommel horse in a fight scene, Kurt Thomas answered through mouthfuls of party sub, "Well you've obviously never seen a little pommel horse centric movie called CITIZEN FREAKING KANE!!!!" Well folks, DARE TO DREAM!!!!


Spankye said...

weakest angry mob ever

Magnum said...

your face is weak

brado1 said...