Our blog has moved!

You will be automatically redirected to the new address. If that does not occur, visit
and update your bookmarks.

Friday, October 17, 2008

giant ants, fake indians, and Zaxby's.....bring on the apocalypse!!!!

Blog 1.0
Well, this is my audition for my very own blog and the pressure is on. Not that I mind pressure, I don't mind anything, I am fully prepared for life lacking luxury. To those preparing for the post apocalypse, we refer to this as "L3". We are referred to as "APOC's". It stands for "grAnd Preparers for the wOrld's destruCtion ". Not the perfect anagram, but we still used the letters....in order! I'm sure most of my local coworkers have rolled their eyes at least once at my constant ranting of my personal preparedness for the "Lifting of the Vail" (Greek root). I personally like to think of it as the "opening of a can". It's not that my superior genetics or abnormal ape index are going to make me a king of the wasteland, but my attitude. To me it's like a big camping trip. Except we no longer watch out for bears, but the giant, dog sized ants that have mutated as a result of the exposure to nuclear radiation. Fortunately, their brains mutated as well and using a simple language similar to how Native American's speak in those 1950's westerns, we can converse. With very little effort, they are easily confused. With the use of gratuitous break dancing and the trick where you fake pulling off your thumb, any ant will assume you are a some sort of sorcerer. I have used this in other scenarios with similar effect (Floridians, Waffle House employees, and Troy). Wow, that was quite a tangent. Sure am glad I left a trail of crumbs from my Zaxby's wings and things. You know that is one luxury I may have to maintain. Zaxby's will be the official food of the post-apocalypse. Zax sauce will become the currency. Since paper money has been woven into the fabric that decorates my palace (a former Pep Boys) and the base layer of all of my suits of Samurai armor, completely made of dollar bills and cut up mud tires. Kind of like "Shredder" from the Ninja Turtles Movie, but like infinity times cooler. So you can see how un-skeered I am about the world after civilization. I don't fear the judgments that will be past upon me for y first entry either. Just remember, I hold grudges for a long time and you may end up the keeper of the royal bedpan. And Zaxby's never passes smoothly.

No comments: