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Tuesday, October 14, 2008

A Matter of Grave Importance!

As some of you folk may know, Halloween is right around the corner. The question is, have you thought about what you'll be eating from the candy aisle at your local grocer or confectionist? The blog has. In fact, the blog thinks about candy 90 percent of the day. The other 10 percent is devoted to chips, salsas, good sportsmanship and the new chili dogs being served for lunch at the coffee shack next door. Seriously, you go there in the morning for your cup of whatever (coffee perhaps, or a wheat grass) and when the prehistoric bird whistle goes off for lunch, you pick up a couple chili cheese dogs. Crazy huh? The young lady who runs the coffee shack has a booming voice so don't be intimidated. She means you know harm, or ill-will. She just likes to be heard, the voice of reason... the voice of chili dogs... the voice of deliciousness. But the blog digresses. Where was I? Oh yes, candy. Let's start off simple: The Butterfinger GIANT! This version of your standard Butterfinger is usually sold in movie theaters but has started showing up in more accessible locations. Why just this morning I noticed it sitting on an obviously weight-strained candy display at a local pharmacy (the wire rack was buckling under from the sheer girth of the GIANT!). What prescription drugs was the blog picking up? None of your cotton-pickin' business! You don't know me! I'll cut you! Cut you good! I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I love you, gentle blog reader! Ole Bloggy won't do wrong by you! Please! RARRRR! So yes, I was picking up my mood swing inhibitors and spied the GIANT. It's a huge Butterfinger, flattened and segmented into individual pieces. So you get all the Butterfinger taste but none of the mess associated with the longer and more brittle original bar form. For the blog, it will be its only source of nutrition for the next three days. Iggy Pop ate sausage and only sausage for an entire year (it's true, look it up!). Surely the blog can survive on Butterfingers for 72 hours...

Nutritionally, the GIANT isn't as bad as one would think. I would rank it somewhere between a head of lettuce and fried lard.

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