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Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Guitar Hero on a Bicycle, Surprise Phone Test: The Unflappable Pastor Troy, New Eleven 81 Water Bottle Cage Bolts in Tha HIZZY!

In the spirit of video gaming and its undeniable link to the cycling world, the blog humbly presents this moving picture for your perusal. Please direct all complaints to the Hawley company's assistant customer service representative:

(too good to be true? PERHAPS! )

Now that you've whetted your blog-e-tite with that tasty viral morsel, please peruse this transcript of a conversation between inside sales savant Pastor Troy and a fictional shop owner. The Hawley Company's motto is "Trust No One!" and we are never scared to put it to the test! Periodically, inside sales is given dummy callers (former CIA interrogators) to test their quick thinking and abiliiy to adapt to high pressure situations.

Troy: Hawley Company, this is Troy!

Cpt. Bijou Hamhock: Yeah hey, this is Captain Bijou Hamhock . I was calling about gettin' my boy enrolled in swimmin' lessons.

T: OK, what sort of stroke is he looking to learn?

CBH: I was thinkin' back stroke would be good for 'im. You can swim but you can also see what's behind you. You see what I'm sayin?

T: Yes, the backstroke is our best defensive stroke for 2008. Can I interest you in an offensive stroke like the eye jab stroke or perhaps some swimming caps? We have a price break if you order nine hundred irregularly sized swimming caps before 4 PM.

CBH :No thank you, we make our own caps.

T: All right then, I'll go ahead and get that order of swimming lessons mailed out. Can I do anything else for you?

CBH: My boy, Michael Jordan, is allergic to chlorine. Ya'll got any other options?

T: Well, we do have a creek water program. Basically, it entails us taking your son to the creek and throwing him in. It costs the same but doesn't include the complimentary hand towel. Also, the creek is only visible to warlocks so that means we hire a warlock to guide us to the creek and then we usually have to feed the warlock and entertain him so he doesn't turn us into a tree or something. Kind of a hassle if you get my drift!

CBH: My grand daddy was half warlock! You have offended me so I will bid you good day!

T: Thanks for calling!

And last but certainly not least in this triple play post, we finally got in the Eleven 81 water bottle cage bolts! OK, pick yourself up off the floor, put on some pants, wipe the banana cream pie off your face, pick up a phone, call your dealer, then call your local bike shop and order these before they're alllllll gone!


spokejunky said...

Nom nom...bottle cage bolts look like Skittles. Nom nom.

Spankye said...

those bolts are hot. no purple? or am i just too color blind to see it.

Anonymous said...

what does swimming lessons have to do with bicycling? I'm very disappointed...this is most unprofessional.

The Ghost of Jerry Reed said...

I agree Teenwolf! However, not as unprofessional as leaving comments on blogs while you're on the clock