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Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Shipping News!

Today is the 23rd of December. That means if you're hoping to get your Christmas goodies before the 25th, you're paddling upstream in a chicken wire canoe. The commercial package delivery system can only do so much. However, not wanting to play favorites as the Hawley Company loves all of its shippers (The Blog hates "Castaway" because of its negative portrayal of volleyballs and homemade loincloths but that doesn't alter our relationship with Fed Ex, although it should, but that's for me and the local authorities to decide), UPS seems to smell what this blog has cooking when it comes to alternatives to motorized vehicles: READ THIS RIGHT NOW! Oh yeah! Not only is UPS utilizing bicycles for deliveries, it's fitting all of its "hauling cart thingys" with super-hot mag wheels. Perhaps Hawley should fax them an account application? What can Brown do for us? Cha-chinnngg!!! One can only hope that UPS spreads its corporate tentacles into the sea of slothlike bike messengers nationwide, who lounge around all day sipping mimosas and complaining about "the vapors" as their calls go unanswered. For shame!

As a premeptive strike to any readers searching for pre-New Years posts, the blog offers this lovely story of bicycles and alcohol-sodden revelers being press-ganged by Dick Clark into powering the lights on the Times Square New Year's sign. THE HORROR

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